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I wanted to be the girl you could depend on to listen, but not to give advice. I wanted to be the girl who could at the very least put a smile on your lips, on your heart, when you see me walking by, when you hear me screaming your name. I wanted to be the girl who was a little bit loud, a little bit excited, a little bit beyond the limits.I wanted to be the creative one, the one who could take simple beauty, smash it to bits, and rebuild it anew. I wanted talent, I wanted pride, I wanted the sins and I wanted to collect memories in butterfly nets. But with the new slates and new butterfly nets to replace the old, I have found not the soul I was looking for. Instead my hard-worked efforts have returned me not only with brief glimpses of the good, but a garbage truck of the dismal shame and guilt constantly backing up and emptying wherever I go. The sins I begged for returned me only frustration in return, and my stomach has now sank beneath my toes with all the turns of the dice. The slates I had been given, had worked for had crumbled in my hands, and now I can pick up the dust and look at what once was exactly what I wanted. Now, I have no slate. I have a body, a mind and I have given up the dream of being what I could be for what I should be: a girl with a body, a mind and a dream.
So with my torn butterfly net leaking memories everywhere I go, and a vast garbage truck with no true bottom, you can watch me walk on by your life. I'll take the larger steps that shake the crowd, weave in between others and shove them down. But you face two choices as I pass by: you can say hello, watch me laugh and wave my butterfly net and a few thoughtful memories your way, or you can say goodbye, and shove yourself right into the garbage truck with the rest of the trash.
- Mood:
artistic - Music:"The Perfect Scene" - Mercy Mercedes
Bemia found herself alone in her thoughts that night, listening to the same soft snapping of twigs and crunchign of bones and skin. She watched the beast across the fire finish it's meal, but felt unaffected. The blood staining it's mouth, and broken bones and torn body, it didn't sway her anymore. She instead focused on the fire, stoking it and watching her gathered fruits sizzle over it. The sound of burning fruit mixed with the chirping of the crickets into a subtle melody of the night as the two figures sat in silence. It seemed far too ordinary, too repetitive. This wasn't the first time Bemia had decided they go out into the woods for a night or two. Finally, a gruff, bloodlustful voice interrupted the song.
"Bemia?" Grendo looked up, the body slipping out of his hands and to the forest floor with a final thump. It looked to be the body of a human, a small slender man which most players took the form of when they lost a life. Though the player would see the start-up screen again, Grendo would see a dead body. Bemia didn't look up at the sound of Grendo's voice, just stared intently into the flames. Grendo still took this as a cue to speak. "Why are we here in the Black Forest again?" Silence followed his words as the fire crackled on, a trail of smoke highlighted by the moonlight traveling high. Finally, Bemia's green eyes met his.
"No reason," she said strangely, her smile awkward as she prodded the fire and sent up a shower of ruby sparks. "Just like the silence, your company." She always seemed to have a neutral answer like this ready for him, and he usually accepted it and lapsed back into silence untill she fell asleep. However, tonight, Grendo spoke up once more.
"You're lying."
The words stung, and with Grendo's deep eyes staring, Bemia could do little more than stammer. How did he know?
"Why would you think such a thing?" As son as the words left her lips, Bemia wished she could take them all back. They were not a cleverly-thought cover-up, not a dark warning to stay away from the subject, no. Instead, she invited Grendo's rage and might as well have screamed the secret to him right then and there. Grendo's eyes began flashing as he realized what she meant,and he leapt up and dug his bird-like claws into the ground, ready to sprint. Bemia knew instantly what he wanted to do, where he wanted to go, and she could do nothing more but clamber up onto his back and hold on tight as he began to race through the path back home.
As the wind rushed through her hair, Bemia managed only a few coherent thoughts. Why would Grendo not trust her? How could he assume she would lie? A sigh escaped her lips and was immediatley torn away by the wind. She had been lying. It was easy to know their friendship was based on Bemia's careful lying, but it was a thought she struggled to supress because she never wanted Grendo to figure anything out. Now, as they charged across the plain, it seemed she was losing the battle with her mind. She desperately put away the thoughts of her alone, without Grendo. Tears stung her eyes and her nails dug into his skin, but he noticed nothing. What could she do? Nothing, she realized with a sickening flip of her stomach.
"Come," he growled as they slowed to a stop outside the headquarters, and pulled her off his back with a vicious jerk. Bemia didn't resist the angry monster, ddin't pull away, untill they reached the door, where she dug her heels into the soft dirt. "what?"he whispped around almost immediatley, teeth bared.
"You don't know," Bemia breathed, pulling on his wrist. His eyes didn't leave her moonlit face, as if waiting for an explanantion. "Grendo, they're the reason you can talk, walk, think...everything." His eyesbrows raised. "They're the reason you're not still wrapped up in chains in the Badlands," she whispered, not meeting eyes with him. She knew what would happen next, allowed herself to be shoved to the ground and listen to Grendo's raving words. It all felt so familiar, she had brought up Grendo's past before, but it still stung the same. She never enjoyed people screaming at her, but with Grendo it seemed infinitely worse. She waited it out nontheless, knowing that once Grendo began pausing to breathe, she had a chance to calm him down. Time passed, she listened to his violent words.
Finally, he crouched down, his hand fell from his left horn he had been pulling at, and Bemia took this as a chance to crawl close. Her hands slid up into his open palm. His dark brooding eyes did not meet hers.
"Grendo, you used to be one of the most fearsome things in this game. People didn't approach the Badlands because of you. You were a legend, a myth, but as really as the rest of the game and much more of a threat. You were in every Ihoru scholar's journal as 'hell walking'. "Grendo said nothing, did not turn to meet her soft gaze. "But now...now you can talk, you can walk, you can think," she paused, watching as his long fingers finally clasped around hers. "But it all came at a price. And that price...that price is at our house when we're gone." Grendo glanced at her, eyes no softer, before leaping to his feet yet again and tearing her alongside the house. She stumbled after his fast gait, nearly slamming into him as he suddenly skidded to a stop. Up ahead, a silhouette sat hunched in the long grass, bent over something green and glowing. It did not turn despite the clumsy running of Bemia, instead continued to shift and focus on the worked in front of it.
"Who is tha-" Grendo started, his eyes following another figure coming over the edge of the hill. The figure stood motionless in the swaying grass, a soft red glow from the weapon at her side. Grendo turned slowly to stare at Bemia. "Who are they?" he asked, no anger in his voice from before. Instead he seemed curious, his eyes begging for answers. Bemia stood silently for a moment, considering her words.
"They're twins," Bemia started, fingers still intertwined with his, "twins who are completely unaware of what they do here once every full moon." She shifted her gaze to the 2 figures, eyeing them quietly. "The one standing up was easy to find, one of His top guards. The one sitting down...she doesn't exist. " Bemia shfited her weight in the shadows where they were hidden, losing her grip on Grendo's hand to walk away from the 2 figures. She feared she had said too much. However, moments later, she could hear his gruff voice from behind her.
"Who are they?"
"I don't know," she retorted, suddenly unaware.
"Where are they from?"
"I don't know."
"What are they doing?"
"I don't know."
"Wh-" he started, but Bemia froze mid-step and wheeled around to face him.
"I don't know Grendo!" she cried, eyes watering. "I can't tell you because I don't know anymore! Asking a million questions doesn't help the fact that I don't know!" Her body shook, tears streaming down her face. She had snapped, just like he had moments before, but now it was his turn to solve it, not cause it.
"Bemia..." his voice was low, she felt his hand on her shoulder, but was overtaken by her sobs. The hand slid, joined another and Grendo pulled her close to him. She could feel and hear his gruff voice overhead, soothing her, but inside her guilt ravaged. Their relationship was truly built on lies, and in strong imbalance.
- Mood:
drunk - Music:"Thinking of You" -katy perry
"Asteria?" a shaking awoke her. The man behind the podium was now at her side, hand on her shoulder that felt slightly surreal. She knew this man was a prominent NPC, and her pixelated touch always scared her a little bit. She rose to her feet, smiling gently and walking towards the podium. All eyes turned to her, an awkward stare. She glanced down, looking at the series of switches hidden from view before flicking one with her name next to it and letting the program run on autoplay so all those connected to this room could hear,and she'd have to put out no effort in the process. Her pre-recorded voice rang out, mystical in a sense, and she allowed her eyes to roam about the room again. Guards were stationed at the door, for the players were told that residents of Ihoru were a sacred breed and thus had to be protected. All of the faces before her had been chosen at random by the program to be scholars in the game, a position of prestige. Her eyes continued to wander, meeting those of the NPC guards one by one, grey eyes to grey eyes. Something caught her eyes as she locked with a peculiar guard stationed by the doos of the Old Library. They didn't match the others, one had a glittering set of golden eyes, robbed of their personality and was clutching her weapon with fear. Wisps of white stuck out underneath the helmet instead of wisps of black like the other guards. Asteria's worry climbed, this was unusual even in a game that liked to throw twists. She bit her lip, tried to ignore the unusual guard but couldn't help to stare.
"...this is your time to fight for the glory of Ihoru," Asteria heard her ending words, and turned to face the crowd once more. Some were flickering out of sight, saving their progress, others were rising and charging out of the back set of doors into the New Library. Asteria turned away from the podium, pulling at the scarf and quietly making her way down the length of the stage. She glanced at the doors of the Old Library, behind which such horrors supposedly roamed that no one had entered for years. Asteria wondered if the doors even opened anymore, but before she could turn towards them, someone blocked her path. A guard. Asteria staggered back, surprised by the sudden presence. Golden eyes searched her, and a hand released the staff in it's grasp to grab Asteria by the arm and pull her close. White hair fell out of the helemt, neatly sliced by something sharp. Asteria shuddered, this guard was unfamiliar and reeked of something Asteria couldn't quite explain.
"Your deeds ten years ago have come back to haunt you," the voice as ancient, old for such a young-faced guard. Asteria's eyes widened, what deeds? her mind brought up memories she had struggled to supress, and Asteria's eyes began to water under the guard's iron grip. "The New King wishes to help," the guard grinned, lopsided and eerie. Asteria choked as the guard pulled on the scarf and it fell to the floor, exposing Asteria's messy bandages.
"No," Asteria breathed, trying to twist away, "the new King is missing, has been for years." She struggled under the guard's grasp.
"He has grown stronger," the guard continued, reaching up to pull the helmet off of it's head and let it clatter to the floor. White hair unfurled, exposed two long pigtails and more tumbling down to her aist. A crooked crown, rusted and covered in cobwebs, glowed with a red fury and exposed the guard's identity. The name came flooding into Asteria's mind, a young princess she had met ten years ago.
"Dieta," she whispered, noticing the one earring in the elf's left ear. "You were-"
"Picked up by His Glory. Now you will be too," Dieta spoke slowly, releasing her grip before shedding the guard's uniform for an armored dress, dull in colors and tattered. Moments later, she disappeared in a flash of light. Asteria was left fear stricken in the middle of the auditorium.
- Mood:
accomplished - Music:Someday - The Afters
"Get out," he growled, and Asteria dared to look up at him with wide eyes.
"What?" she choked, her hand falling from his shoulder and pulling nervously on one of the loops tied to her hair.
"You heard me, Asteria," he growled, a long nail tracing her neck. A soft gasp reminded the two that Bemia was still there, hovering in silence a little ways off. Grendo didn't glance at her, instead twisted his finger around and dug a little bit deeper, drawing blood.Asteria's pale eyes widened, her hand flew to her neck, and she glanced at Bemia with pleading eyes. Bemia had already shifted, grabbing Grendo's hand and tucking it in hers. Asteria staggered back, warm blood trickling through her fingers, and disappeared in a flash of light. A low growl emitted from Grendo's neck, eyes glinting in the twilight as he switched his gaze to Bemia. Her grip tightened on the monster, she tried to appear understanding but her fear shone through. Immediately, Grendo's eyes softened and he muttered a soft "sorry," before looking down to continue digging his hoof into the ground.
"Come," Bemia said softly, pulling on the beast's hand as to drag him towards the house. All anger, all resistance had disappeared from Grendo and he followed silently after the pink-haired girl as she headed slowly up the hill, past their home to the edge of the cliff. Her strong gaze switched from the beast to the suns setting, and Grendo slowly followed suit, not sure how this was calming him down. All he knew that slowly, it was working.
"I'm sorry," Grendo muttered, pulling at one of his horns in distress. Bemia silenced him with a long stare, then gazed back into the fading sunlight.
"Don't worry," she sighed, fingers still intertwining with Grendo's, "Asteria will come back." Her assurance cause Grendo to glance at her.
"You've been wrong before, Bemia."
"I know."
Miles away, at the edge of a glowing city, another flash of light appeared, and Asteria stepped out slowly, hand still clutched to her neck. Her eyes were still frozen in fear as she ran, stumbled, ran again towards the city, searching for the tallest building of them all. Weaving through men in similar pale grey robes, she managed to crash onto the marble steps of the Ihoru library, the widest and tallest building in the Grand City of Ihoru. A few blood drops spilt on the steps, but she ignored them and pushed through the doors, closing behind her with an echoing thud. Immediately, a room full of matching robes turned to face her, blank eyes staring her down.The massive group was confined to a small area, she saw that massive parts of the library had still be closed down due to mysterious circumstances. She coughed, clutching her neck tighter as she glanced at the many faces she knew and recognized. They were all there for the same purpose, to cleanse the Old Library of whatever had killed years ago.
"I need," she started, pulling her hand away from her neck, "some help wrapping this." Blood dripped from her fingers to the floor.
- Location:at the kitchen table.
- Music:"Beauty in the Breakdown" - The Scene Aesthetic
"There's no way," one says, a girl with a sweet shade of pink hair tied up into pigtails. Her green eyes search the pixel skies as a light breeze swept past them both, and her metallic suit matched her hair. She looked incredibly innocent until your vision spotted the two sword clutched in her grasp, made to interlock into one giant blade. "No way he's still alive. The Old King had him sentenced and the New King took care of him." A visible shudder ran down her spine at the sound of the latter, and she swore she could almost hear the wicked man's cackle through the air. The New King was never referred to by name, but he claimed the Old King's throne, his father's own, after a series of events that had faded with the sands of time. Only two people in the world were sure of the Old King's whereabouts now, and most believed them to be dead.
"Bemia," the boy next to her said in a gruff voice, red eyes not tearing away from the skies, "don't tell you've fallen for his tricks." His head tilted, eyes fell to her face and his thick black hair swooped down. His long talon-like fingers curled and unfurled as he searched her face for an answer, and not receiving one, continued. "The New King doesn't kill," he sighed, "he does worse." Bemia's eyes flashed, she glanced at the boy in surprise but as she parted her lips to respond, a scream echoed through the skies.
"GRENDO!" Bemia whipped around, but the boy mentioned only dug his hoof-like foot into the ground and folded his arms across his chest with a low growl. Behind them, where a house had appeared atop the hill, a door slammed open and in the opening stood another girl, this one with a high black ponytail that swung violently about as she charged towards Grendo, screaming along the way. "I hope you're real proud of yourself this time! Do you know what you've done?! The Ihoru Council is waiting for my arrival!" She skidded to a stop on the rocky slope, pointing an accusing finger at Grendo's back. The man in question didn't turn around, instead pulled at one of the reddish gold horns atop his head as he did when he was annoyed, and allowed the tension to grow thicker before he spoke.
"Talk to someone who cares," he growled, eyes narrowing as he continued to paw at the ground.
- Location:kitchen, bound to a chair.
- Mood:injured.
- Music:"Everything's A Miracle" -Swimming With Dolphins